It's Sunny and Warm

Our first tease of spring came this weekend and I celebrated it by going for a nice walk this afternoon.

I'm inspired by The StoneSoup but found myself going  down that "magic bullet" thinking expressway to spending yet more money on diet books.  Instead I bought Etta James Matriarch of the Blues.  I think that was a better way to spend my money because today, I enjoyed my walk while listening to Etta's magical voice with no buyer's remorse.  I have a feeling I'd feel I'd wasted $10 on The 4-Hour Body or What Makes Us Fat.  I KNOW WHAT TO DO and don't need to spend any more money for some other self proclaimed expert's so-called advice.

That said, I'm still very much pondering a subscription to The StoneSoup's cooking classes.  I want those recipes.

Sandrelle, at Keeping The Pounds Off, is  true inspiration.  She's found herself with a few extra lbs and instead of buying the latest diet book, she took herself to see a nutritionist to get real expert advice.  The advice she received -and shared (thank you!) is sound, doesn't follow a fad and is doable.  Balance.

So, I'm working on my own plan for balance in my food and movement.  I've had a month of getting up early and I'm beginning to get used to it.  It's time to add the next habit: mindful eating.  Measured portions and balanced meals - mindfully prepared and mindfully savored.

And you may ask - how's the knitting coming along.  My scarf is almost finished, but the little fingerless mittens have been giving me the devil.  Here's how far I've done on the first of those:

The knitted garment underneath my start of a mitten is my incredible alpaca robe from Peruvian Connection.  My D is a sweetie!  That was a Christmas gift last year.  So soft and snuggly!

Monday 1/24

Breakfast: yogurt, granola, pumpkin

Lunch: Optifast soup, carrots, almonds

Snack: designer whey protein shake

Dinner: veggie & chicken stir-fry with rice, beer


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Sunday 1/23

Breakfast: yogurt, granola, blueberries

Lunch: barbecue pork, potato salad, brunswick stew, 1/2 slice carrot cake

Dinner: roasted peanuts


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Saturday 1/22

Breakfast: yogurt ( not much)blueberries, granola

Snack: a few peanuts

Lunch: half a turkey sandwich, tomato bisque soup

Snack: protein shake

Dinner: green chile pork tenderloin, rice, salad, rice

After dinner: more wine and 1 Godiva gem

Needing a day to relax and do nothing

I love love love our place in North Georgia.  And going there every other weekend wears me out and leaves me little time to do anything.  The weekends spent at home are always about getting the house in order and getting ready to be out of town the next weekend.  Not enough ME time.

This is a weekend at home and I cancelled my plans to meet a friend so I could have ME time at home.  I'll do chores, but they'll be done leisurely.  What I'm really excited about is making my own yogurt again.  It's been MONTHS.

I haven't posted what I've eaten - so here's a wrap up:

Thurday:
Breakfast:  Yogurt, blueberries and granola, pecans
Lunch - veggie lasagna
Dinner - a few nuts and a chocolate biscotti

Friday:
Breakfast:  skipped
Lunch: Optifast soup
Snack: Slim-fast - and a cup cake (yeah - worth it, too)
Dinner: chicken fried rice (made at home - not too much oil)


And how have I moved?  I haven't.  I keep getting a sore throat, which is my body's way of telling me to take it easy.  I've been getting up around 5:15 each morning and I'm sleep deprived.  Gotta work on that so I can move without feeling exhausted.

13 minutes Leslie Sansone

Breakfast1: designer whey protein in my coffee

Breakfast 2: yogurt, blueberries, granola

Lunch: optimist soup

Snack 1: potato chips ( yeah, there are better choices)

Snack 2 pecans and laughing cow wedge

Dinner: roasted chicken, rice, broccoli, beer, 1 Godiva gem

Breakfast:   yogurt, blueberries, granola

Lunch:  Optifast soup

Snack 1 - broccoli and mushrooms

Snack 2 - Slim-fast (ugh - gotta do better than this!)

Dinner - some kind of beef and noodles and a salad, 1/2 a beer

After dinner:2 Godiva gems

Oddly feeling at peace

I don't know if it was my decision to get some help - returning to a modified Optifast approach - or that D and I have been openly discussing, though not agreeing on everything, my weight gain, but I feel very much at peace with myself and food right now.

It's not all fun and games - but we are trying to come up with a solution that we both can live with, without compromising our desire to eat dinner together and not cook two separate meals.

If anyone is still reading my blog, you'll notice I've started posting what I eat each day.  This is my modified, no real numbers way of logging my food.  Starting tomorrow, I'll add another post - How I Moved Today.   And dear readers, if you don't see 3 posts a week pertaining to that topic, feel free to gently take me to task on it!  Moving isn't for weight loss  - but for health gain and I know it;s critical to my overall well-being.

And lastly - a nod to my newest favorite blog - StoneSoup.  I love it - the author is promoting very simple cooking with very simple, real food ingredients.

Breakfast: 1/2 container Chobani yogurt, 2 tbsp granola

Lunch: turkey pot pie, broccoli salad

Dinner: chicken with rosemary mustard sauce, rice, broccoli, beer

Breakfast: 1/2 container Chobani pomegranate yogurt with 2 tbsp Mona's granola

Lunch: broccoli with D's homemade salad dressing, pimento cheese, 3/4 of this panini bread D found, Lots of fat, some great nutrition form the broccoli and mouth satisfaction from the bread. 4 hours later, just beginning to think about food again.

Dinner: ham, peas& spaghetti , salad, beer

What I ate today

Breakfast: yogurt, blueberries, granola

Lunch: Turnip greens, green beans, whole kernel corn, piece of cornbread

Afternoon break: Parmesan cheese

Dinner: salad, spaghetti, bread, beer

What I'm Knitting

D says I get obsessed with food and eating.  He could be right.  But I have another obsession sometimes - fine yarns.  My favorite right now is Lornas Laces.  I absolutely LOVE the way the Shepherd's Worsted feels in my hands as I knit.

I'm currently working on a scarf/wrap for me in a very simple ribbing - knit 2, purl 2.  It's nice and soft, and stretchy.   And this week, I've been playing with magic loop knitting and I'm about to cast on to make myself a pair of fingerless mittens out of Lornas Laces' sock.  Same color as the worsted: Robot Overlord.

I'm being adventurous with the mittens - just bought pattern.  I hate patterns - I always forget which row I'm on.  Anyway, I think my yarn will look great knitted up in this pattern: 

This is called Prickly and can be found on Ravelry or here: http://scknits.com/patterns

On a side note,  I wish my fingers were as pretty as the models.

What I Ate Today

Breakfast - yogurt, blueberries and granola
Snack - handful (small) peanuts
Lunch - half a greek salad, slice of mushroom, slice of spinach pizza


TOO MUCH LUNCH - healthier choices than D's two slices of pepperoni - but one slice would have been plenty.  Next time - just the spinach.

Still frozen in

That's right - not snowed in, frozen in.  We live on the side of a hill and there's no getting up it.  Soon I hope - I'm about to go batty.

I've been thinking about my eating and needing a plan, structure and not much work.   It needs to be somewhat automated - I don't want to have to think about food during the week.  

I know - I've been there before.  Said it before.  But now D is somewhat on board.  So - back to a modified Optifast plan:

Breakfast most days - yogurt (greek style) with blueberries and almonds 

Lunch most days - Optifast soup

Afternoon snack - carrot sticks and peanut or almond butter

Dinner - small portions of whatever D prepares.

Exercise - walking - either the hills around my neighborhood or Leslie Sansone.

And to borrow Sarah from MFD's mantra (borrowed from Yoda):  No TRY DO.

And to everyone from MFD - thanks for all the well wishes and for following me here.  Sarah - to leave a comment, just click the comment link at the bottom of the post.

Thinking about...

.... leaving MFD.   I'm not giving to it  (the forums or logging) so I'm not getting anything from it.  And feel tons of pressure because of it.

Looking for a iPad (not iPhone) app that will help with calorie/nutrition calculations.  While I don't wan to count calories every day - sometimes I do want to know what I've eaten in terms of calories and nutrition.

Any ideas?

Snowing Cold - No other news

It snowed here Sunday night and we're still buried in it.  I know for much of the country, a snowfall doesn't bring life to a grinding halt.  It does here.  And the little kid in me LOVES it!

I lied when I said no other news.  I got D to read Refuse to Regain.  He doesn't agree completely with Dr. Berkley - especially on Primarian eating and he really wishes she'd come out and say "IT'S GOOD TO BE HUNGRY."

I think D really doesn't get it that when you already have a thing about food, being too hungry for too long a period of time is just not a good thing.

Regardless of the differences of opinions - D and I are struggling with - and talking about - my weight gain.  I have to do the work - but it has to be done in a way that we both can live with.  But the good news is that we are no longer ignoring the elephant in the room.  Pun intended.

Taking care of me

What have I done today to take care of me?

Stopped eating.  I have to admit, intuitive eating will likely be one of the hardest things I've ever had to master.  It's so counter intuitive for me to not clean my plate - to stop eating to assess if I'm still need full.  I've got a lifelong membership of the clean plate club - and that clean plate (empty chips bag, cookie container, pint of Hagen Daz, etc) has always been my cue to stop eating.  So I'm being gentle with myself and each and every time I PAUSE before eating, and during eating to assess my hunger level and then HEED the assessment will be a success.

What else did  I do - went for a walk.  It was short, but it was movement regardless.

Happy New Year

So,  I've had a few days off - no work, not hustle and bustle.  Just peace and quiet.  I'm beginning to remember myself.   I've started to think about how I can make some changes so that I can start taking care of myself.  How to get my head in the right place and keep it there.

I know WHAT to eat.  I can even eye ball HOW MUCH to eat.  But I haven't been doing either.  Lots of excuses and no need to go into them because they are just that, excuses.  I came up with unsubstainable plans, impossible goals.  Why?  In all honesty, I think I wanted to fail.

Yep, I wanted to fail.  It's safer being pudgy.  I don't feel the pressure I did when I first came off OPTIFAST.  It's easier (it seems, but really isn't) to deal with my own self-loathing.  But my self-loathing no longer just impacts me.  It impacts D as well.  And it is painful for him to watch me hurting myself.  And yes, every time, I don't listen to my body and take care of it's needs, I'm hurting myself.

I've been thinking about how I want to live the rest of my life.  Do I want to be tied to calorie counting?  Do I want to be tied to hours of tortuous exercise?  No - that wasn't sustainable either.  It was for a year or so, but that was it.

I've decided to make listening to my body my guide for eating.  Really listening.  Not eating when I'm not hungry and stopping eating when I am no longer hungry.  The first part of that isn't so hard.  It's the stopping part that is really going to be my challenge.  But learning to do, and doing that one thing will help me more than anything else in my weight management journey.

For now, I'm calling it intuitive eating.  And I'll measure my success with each eating event.  Each event will be an occasion for me to learn to savor each bite - eating slowly, deliberately, and stopping to assess my hunger/satiety levels.  The goal will be to eat only when my hunger levels are between 3 and 5 (on a 5 pt scale with 5 being the hungriest) and to stop eating when my satiety level is also between 3 and 5.

Exercise - movement of the body - is critical to managing stress and staying healthy.  I've decided to start getting up earlier, going to work earlier and leaving work earlier so that I can get home in time to work out.

And that's it.  No New Year's Resolution - except to take care of myself, my family and my home to the best of my ability.